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Sometimes it just takes time to heal from some fights and emotional damage that can occur in any relationship. Even the best of relationships can have an occasional argument, or after being together for years your partner may make a choice or a decision that seems selfish and harms the relationship, but if they are truly sorry and regret and come back into the relationship as a result the relationship may be salvaged.
The main thing you have to acknowledge is there is no quick fix, you cannot magically undo emotional hurt and damage. You must give it some time and reinforce each others feelings with empathy, respect, and open honest communication. Some fights and arguments heal within a few days, others can take weeks or months to fully recover. I have been told this advice and think it is quite sound:
“Listen to your heart and not always your mind”
Remember that human beings are fragile creatures and prone to error and mistakes, we are all human and all deserve a second chance as long as we learn and grow. You need to be able to learn to trust each other and express each others open and honest feelings without putting blame or judging anyone. Do your best to make your partner feel less like a target even if they are the cause of some of your feelings.
In time if both of you think you can recover from the previous fight or strain on the relationship then you both likely will, but this can only happen if both parties can see recovery and still find something good in one another to build as a foundation for rebuilding. Try creating a list with each other of all the things you like about each other, never create a list of things you dislike or wish were different. Try to be optimistic and positive, and if both of you are still angered or have your tempers set off, then just put a little distance between yourselves in separate rooms for a few hours or a day. Avoid going and spending time with your friends or buddies and waiting for your partner to cool down, this will only aggravate the situation as when one or both people are emotionally hurt, the other party should not be seeking to have fun while things cool down. Use this as a time to reflect and see if there are things you could do to be more understanding, forgiving or if you were the one who caused the issue, reflect on the what, why and do you feel like you have learned something and want to continue the relationship and rebuild.
Just some pieces of advice that I have been trying to follow and seem to be helping in my own relationship, I hope this advice helps you a little.
-Justin Germino
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