My View Of Consensual Infidelity
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So had read this post on Postcards From The Funny Farm about Consensual Infidelity and read Damien Riley’s point of view on the subject. This was a subject that made me want to share my views and opinions on the subject because I do echo Damien Riley’s comments and point of view in many ways here.
Infidelity is absolutely wrong by any right, the act of cheating and lying and hiding information from your spouse or partner is toxic to any relationship and only people with unhealthy self images and poor self confidence would put up with this and endure this repeatedly. I do feel great empathy for these people and hope that they have enough strength to realize that they should never compromise their values and who they are for fear of not finding someone else as is the most common trap which keeps someone in this type of relationship.
Consensual Infidelity is when both partners are open and honest and agree to share or have an extramarital relationship. This can be for money as in an offer in the movie Indecent Proposal, or this can be just to experiment or look outside the relationship. If you are the type of couple that this is something that interests you this is something that can really strain a relationship. These are called Open Relationships by some, or non-traditional marriages by others.
I myself am a little old fashioned, I hold the physical relationship as sacred as the mental one. I believe when two people are married and committed they are committed to each other on a mental, spiritual and physical level. There is no price that can be put on this, and one could agree or disagree with this however they choose. There is no offer someone could make to be with my wife that I would accept monetarily as that would demean the physical affection we share for one another.
That being said I know people who think sex is just physical pleasure and does not convey the true deeper meanings of love and friendship, they would argue that you can truly love someone and be in love with someone and just have physical relations with other people and they don’t really mean or convey the deep feelings of love. I respect people for this point of view and know many guys that would kill to be in a relationship with this type of freedom but it is not my cup of tea.
-Justin Germino
Tags: consensual infidelity, emotional fidelity, infidelity, marriage, marriage infidelity, multiple partners, open love, open relationships, physical infidelity
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Very well put. Let’s be honest, it’s possible to “get caught lookin’” but there’s a big difference between a bird flying over ones head and letting it make a nest
When ya gettin GTalk?
During my mid-twenties I toyed with the idea of “swinging” and the concept that monogamy may be against nature. I wondered if this seemingly society-imposed restriction of sexual fidelity sets us up for failure.
I later realized that monogamy and fidelity depended on:
1. the dynamics of the relationship (which must include selflessness, love, respect, and trust),
2. the spiritual foundation (even if one could reason through extramarital activities, is this really the thing you want to be held accountable for when you meet your Creator?),
3. how profound the love connection is (sex should be held as an intimate act that is a physical expression of the love you already feel for each other), and
4. one’s own desire to fulfill the desires of his or her partner exclusively (both need to be willing to do whatever it takes to remain faithful to each other).
Thankfully, I came to see open relationships as selfish and animalistic…when we are not animals, but people, capable of loving and sharing on a higher level. I know of people who practice or have practiced open marriages. It may work for a while BUT eventually, the relationship will fail because the foundation is flawed.
I will say this–Even though I now don’t agree with this lifestyle, I can appreciate the openness and honesty that swingers share as opposed to liars and cheaters who go behind their partners’ backs. That’s just despicable.
Davida
I agree with your comments @Davida, that people who are open and honest and want to experiment or go into a relationship with their intentions clear are at least true to themselves and their partners. Cheating, Lying and hiding are acts of betrayal.