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This is the real world everyone and there is a 99.99% chance that the person you will spend the rest of your life with, or a significant portion of your life with will not be 100% perfect. The problem why most relationships fail is somewhere along the line people start focusing on more what they wish the other person could do for them, and less on what they can do for the other person.
Whether your partner makes the best friend, lover, parent, spouse or any other category or label you are looking for, chances are there will always be some things you wish were a little more simpatico together. One may be the best lover but not make a great friend or listener, while another may be wonderful in several categories or areas but maybe a little clingy or not affectionate enough.
Bottom line is you have to look at overall happiness and think to yourself, what do I really want out of this relationship? List the positives about your relationship and do not list the negatives instead focus on whether the positives are enough to sustain what you think are “lesser” qualities in the relationship. If you are spending your time wishing something could be better, then try focusing your attention to the following:
- What might my partner wish was better in this relationship?
- What can I do to improve on that area?
The more you focus on what you can do for your partner instead of what your partner can do for you, the less selfish you are. Though the opposite can happen, some people can give and never receive equal relationship commitment or focus and effort. You have to truly analyze and work with your partner to find a fair balance and make sure you both are meeting each others needs in as many areas as possible.
Never approach this subject in a harsh and negative light, it should always be discussed with positive and light tones with the intention to improve the relationship not criticize or damage it further.
We are all human beings, we all have flaws and nobody is 100% going to fill every wish, need or want in the other party. It is wrong to expect it and puts too much pressure and demand unfairly.
-Justin Germino
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