The Desk in 10113 Tried to Kill Me

This post contains affiliate links.

Yes my friends, I was attacked…assaulted by an evil desk in room 113 of the Excalibur hotel where my kids sit and used their own laptops for hours.  I merely borrowed my son’s laptop for a few minutes to check emails and maybe game a little Guild Wars 2 before bedtime with my oldest when I was truck by my attacker.

This is just an example of the luck that I have and that I am pretty much a real life Ben Stiller character, so let me set the picture for you.  Here I am sitting at my desk in my boxers and a PJ shirt (not a pretty picture) and when I am just finished with the computer the chair which is a hard legged hotel chair is too close to the desk.  As I stand up and try to slide out from between the chair and the desk, the desk has some sort of rough part on the edge of it’s circular cursed wood and a splinter fragments off of the desk and embeds through the boxers into my inner thigh.

But it gets a bit more gory than that, the splinter breaks off and now pins the boxer fabric into my thigh, so that as I pull the boxer cloth away from my thigh my skin is tugged almost like the wood splinter is barbed.  A confused expression and how the hell did I roll a 1 while getting up from my desk in a hotel room crosses my face as I go to the hotel bathroom and proceed to determine how deep the splinter is embedded, as it turns out was about 1/4" deep in the skin and I just had to find the angle it went in so I could reverse it back out the way it went in which was a bit complicated because it was hidden in the boxer fabric and got thicker so it couldn’t be pushed through the boxer fabric.

2 minutes later and more confusion and disbelief than pain, the demon dagger of the office table was removed I disinfected my wound and hoped to hell it was sterilized well enough not to get infected knowing how many people use those hotel rooms.

Other than that it was a fun vacation, though I will never stay at the Excalibur Hotel in Las Vegas again, the rooms are so old and poor quality in every way, no Wi-Fi anywhere in building, stains on walls, carpets, bed sheets, all outlets loose and wobbly, furniture all damaged and scratched….  They do try to keep it as medieval as possible for sure in there.  My wife also had a ton of breathing and allergy related problems, there was a funny smell always in the room like mold there could have been mold, not accusing but once we left the breathing symptoms went away within a few hours and started about 3 hours after arriving.

Visit the Tournament of the Kings, the show is amazing, but sleep at a different hotel is my advice.

Updated: August 3, 2013 — 3:16 pm