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This isn’t the 1950’s anymore where a rigid father/son system existed where Fathers were just not brought up to show affection and emotions to anyone, especially their sons becuase it wasn’t the “man” way. Too often even in modern times a Father will have no qualms about showing a daughter affection, hugging and telling her “Daddy loves her” but when faced with a son, the Father will often just give a slap on the back, and not show any of the same emotional affection traits that they would with a daughter.
I myself grew up in a house where my mother always let us know how much she loved us, but I don’t think I can recall more than once if ever I heard my father ever say he Loved Me, or was proud of me. My mother always had to tell me on the side “Your father loves you, he just doesn’t say it”. This for years left me with trying to constantly compete for my dads “approval and affection” often leading to a negative self image and myself struggling with feelings of worthlessness in high school and early adult years.
I have since grown past all of this and am determined my two sons will never feel the way I had felt as a child, they are no stranger to me hugging them and telling them how proud I am of them. No stranger to me tucking them in at night and giving them “super tucks” along with a hug and a kiss. They won’t ever have to worry about not meeting my standards, or feeling like they aren’t good enough because they are as perfect as any two kids can be.
So let this be a tip for fathers who think they shouldn’t show son’s affection or be open with emotions around them, it is not only healthy but vital to their well being and mental state that you let your sons know that you love them and that you are proud of them. The last thing you would want is for them to grow up and have the exact same personality where they won’t show their own kids affection and emotion and repeat a cycle that should have been ended decades ago.
-Justin Germino
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