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I am not a psychologist, therapist or have taken any courses or training in such topics. I can only post based on my experience and my point of view and opinions. As a fairly intelligent person who has gone through personal insecurity and self image problems over the years I can speak to this subject since I have gone through these things myself.
If you find yourself the type of person who looks at yourself in the mirror and only see’s what is wrong and what you wish you could change about yourself, then this post is targeted at you. I myself used to be that kind of person, perfectionism that was unattainable, can’t stand the way I look, loathed myself and hid behind various mental traps that kept me in that way of thinking.
I started to really turn my way of thinking on its head over the past few years and especially recently, instead of focusing on what was bad, or what I wished I could change, I forced and reminded myself to only point out what I thought was good or decent and ignore the rest. Then I started thinking we should apply this attitude and way of thinking toward everything in life.
So with conscious effort at first and it comes easier once you make it a learned habit you start looking and pointing out only the things you like about anything, instead of nitpicking and only noticing the things you dislike and find unappealing. These can be simple things from eating a meal in a restaurant, instead of complaining about what was bad, start by instead thinking about what you did like and ditch the rest unless you are a food critic.
If you see yourself in the mirror and are unhappy with something about yourself then point out something you like about yourself and forget about the rest. The more confidence and positive attitude you have the more charisma you will display. Charisma is not just how you look physically, it is how you come off and your aura that is picked up on by other people. Confident optimistic people tend to draw people near them who want to hear what they have to say, whereas dark brooding and self defeating types tend to be isolated and lone. Sarcastic types can become isolated as well unless their sarcasm is shared among who they are with.
Remember it takes conscious effort to reprogram how you think and you will slip up from time to time, but take my advice I am generally a happier person now deliberately noticing what is good and fine rather than constantly noticing what I don’t like. I am also much more accepting of my own self and in turn I feel lighter, more confident and am happier as a result.
These are just some of my insights that I am sharing with you.
-Justin Germino