Category: Entertainment

The Origins of Zarru Fonklot

It isn’t easy being as gifted as I am, despite people telling me that I have it easy.  Sure, my looks and charm can turn even the most stubborn lass into a companion and sure my wits allowed me to win numerous tinker competitions ever since I was able to carve stone, steel and whittle tools back in my cavern home decades ago.  Yet despite my gifts for academics and tools something deeper lurked within me, something of a calling that made me realize I could alter and bend reality without studying a spellbook.  My inner power kept getting stronger the older I got and when I was 16 my skin started manifesting what I later learned was a distant draconic bloodline in my family.  My skin became scale like and harder than my peers skin, it took on a copper like color and texture.  My mother was ashamed and was disgusted, I was the first one in our bloodline in 350 years to have the draconic ancestry manifest and they were not proud at all.  I did some digging and paid a few people to research my ancestry and learned that nearly 2 millennia ago that my great, great, great uncle Thoodur Migglepudd once befriended a cooper dragon named Ishyntalla.  They were nearly inseparable and best of friends exploring and mapping the countryside, apparently the lady dragon fell in love with my Thoodur and when a deity came touched by their love he offered her the chance to become a Gnome in exchange for losing her dragonhood.  She took the deal and within a year she birthed their child and the draconic blood still lingered even though she was shape-changed. I learned that tragically she only survived a few years before being felled by a mighty fire giant, my great uncle fought by her side until the bitter end for both of them.

This story shook me, and rather than be embarrassed by my ancestry I embraced it. I learned that I had a gift for charm, gab, influence and persuasion.  Combined with my vast intellect I learned how to get what I wanted and quite often, by the time I was 36 my peers however were tired of me getting my way, arguments, contests, competitions, lawsuits, judgements, the town simply didn’t want me around anymore.  Politicians saw me as a threat due to my popularity and husbands grew jealous, even when I had no bad intentions.  I left, and decided that dwarves would be a good mark, they weren’t very impressed with gnomes so I thought I could blend in better without having too much influence or causing too much distraction.

I quickly learned that despite my charms and wits, I got into confrontation a lot, but I was always disadvantaged, while my mind and soul were sharp and bright, my muscles were withered compared to most and I was weaker than average.  I would tire from just carrying 40 pounds or more for too long, and I was simply not a good climber having lost my strength and fell once breaking an ankle and needing a whole month of bed rest to heal.  I learned alchemy and quite well, as well as my magic manifested what you would call cantrips and I specialized in acids, poisons in both magical form and alchemical form.  Illusions and charm spells came from my blood, I could literally invent sound, visuals and tell a scene.  I could make an entire tavern of patrons fall asleep, or I could make even someone wishing to do me harm reconsider and buy me a drink instead.    I didn’t manipulate people for ill intent, though I quickly learned I could take advantage of people.  This consideration led me think about how many others take advantage of people in different ways, and I saw how nobles, merchants and high born royals treated commoners and peasants.  They took advantage of debts, servitude and when they had so much wealth instead of lifting up others they instead hoarded like misers and looked down on those less fortunate.  I therefore decided I would help give back and if not humble those in seats of power and authority, then at least make their pockets a little less heavy. 

I used illusions, lock picking, thievery, sleep and charm to distribute thousands of gold from wealthy pig headed patrons, distributing it to farmers in need, orphans and those who had noble intention.  I stole enough to fund an entire group of Dwarven midwives with enough tools, trade and supplies so that they could make sure every birth in the further reaches of the city was tended to and cared for.  It was while on one of my sessions that I met a kindred soul, a purrfect (get it, he is a Tabaxi) companion you would say.  He was graceful, fast, and while I could charm someone or distract them, his paws were so quick he could relieve coinpurses and pockets of gems without them even noticing while he was standing right in front of them.  We were a perfect pair and he I learned lost his parents, he loved helping the unfortunate and making the righteous pay.  We didn’t start conflict, but if we weren’t successful in our relief efforts by skill alone, we weren’t afraid to get dirty though I rarely if ever got into melee conflict due to my physique.  When I was cornered, I used my deft and graceful speed to use my dagger to max efficiency, but I preferred to let my crossbow do the talking if my spells or words didn’t succeed, and I coated my quarrels with poison to help seal the deal when I really wanted to make someone pay.

Am I evil?  I don’t think so, or if I am, then I commit evil acts in an effort to right wrongs and do good.  I don’t bother with philosophy, but I believe that everyone can use a helping hand.  Now, I do keep a share of the profits to help continue my own adventures, but I don’t keep enough to get rich yet.  Who shall be my next target, and which sad case is my next beneficiary?

This was a D&D Character background I created for a Gnome Sorcerer who specialized in enchantment and illusion spells. His companion was a Tabaxi Rogue.

Thames and Kosmos Geckobot Mini Review

Took 2 hours but the Geckobot has been assembled so the truth is it was fun to put together, but the suction cups are weak and the thing is very delicate. The motor box is inconsistent even with newest batteries. So a fun project that ended up disappointing in operation.

Putting it together was not unlike Lego’s but instead of bricks most of the objects you connect are cylindrical and tubular.  There is a long piece of tubing you have to cut down to specific measurements which allow for the air flow.

Ultimately there were problems in this little bots execution after with the power not working properly, the suction cups not holding well on a glass sliding door and it being extremely fragile.  My son still really liked how it looked completed and did not want to return it because of the effort spent and how it looked when all was completed. Because it was 2 hours of fun project time with my son, I rate it 3 stars out of 5 on that.


Justin Germino is now Featured on MovingBabies

Tales from Elite Dangerous – The Day I Became a Count

Working for the imperials has been a grind for sure, but one worth the effort and today I earned my rank getting me closer to having the authority to purchase the mighty Imperial Cutter the largest cargo capacity civilian ship in the galaxy at the moment.  It was December 30th 3303, and today I decided to take Platinum Dragon out of the hanger bay for a few missions.  Platinum Dragon is the name of my Anaconda and she is a fine ship.  I jumped all over the bubble finding the rare materials to have her engineered, each part enhanced to peak efficiency so that pound for pound she can best any stock Anaconda without getting a scratch.

Today I had to put that statement to the test, when I was running some cargo to Gunter Port for a faction who was fighting a civil war and they were in desperate need for Non-Lethal Weapons and Reactive Armor to help them in their fight.  I was near the port when my alarms in the cockpit flared indicating I was being interdicted, when interdicted I rarely attempt to flee and instead conserve my frame shift drive by submitting.  This gives me options to fight or flee and avoid the damage and delay the FSD drive takes if you fail to win an escape maneuver.

I drop out and right in front of me this big ship was expecting me, rarely do I see a ship in front of me when interdicted so I deployed guns and opened fire.  My Class 4 beam laser draining shields while my frag cannons, multi-cannons and turreted beam lasers provided backup support.  Before I could even drop the first Anaconda a 2nd one jumped in behind me and started opening fire.  My prismatic shields which were Class 6 leaving my Class 7 bay for cargo were under a heavy pounding and the first shield ring evaporated.  Fortunately I flipped the switch and fired off a shield cell bank while dropping a heat sink to vent out my now uncomfortably hot cabin.

My in flight camera recorded the entire battle for your viewing pleasure:

After my efforts with delivering the cargo, the Imperial Navy gave me another assignment and this time I knew it was something special.  A top secret delivery mission to a planetary base in Cubeo and I made it without incident.  After turning my rewards I received a communication from command that I was finally promoted to Count in the Empire.

I spent the rest of the evening celebrating with some imported Lavian Brandy and took on a few more passenger transports, the Cutter would be mine soon and I needed to make sure I had enough credits to outfit it properly.  Then it would be off to the grind for materials fitting for a proper engineering.

-Commander DragonBlogger Out

Tips for Starting Out as a Tech Reviewer

I had someone reach out to me on YouTube asking how they can get started with being a tech product reviewer and I thought about it and turned out the following suggestions.  This is just a high level overview of suggestions for those who seriously want to get into reviewing products in exchange for receiving them.  You won’t make a lot of money or any money at first unless you are lucky and get a lot of Amazon affiliate or other affiliate commissions, but this is more about the thrill of getting new stuff to review and providing valuable feedback for readers and brands as well as building your own reputation.
Here are some suggestions, the Amazon tips only apply if you are in the US location.

How to Become a Technology Product Reviewer

TIP #1 Become An Affiliate ASAP

If you aren’t an Amazon affiliate and Gearbest affiliate, become one immediately. Sign up and if you haven’t ordered a product from Amazon, order one (anything) you have to have bought a product to leave Amazon reviews which many brands want.  You may also want to sign up to become an affiliate on cj.com and ShareASale.com right away as well, CJ.com has NewEgg store and you can become an affiliate there. Building affiliated sales links to every product you review will help generate you income, but also give you analytics and detailed reports you can use to show brands how you provide an ROI (return on investment) to them for sending you a product to review.  I would also take the time to become an International Amazon affiliate (amazon.co.uk, amazon.ca, amazon.de, amazon.it…etc.) and use Prourls.net or Geni.us to start global affiliate linking for maximizing revenue.  Better to get established now instead of having to proactively fix your links later which means you could lose income.
Build out a full reviewer profile on Amazon and other stores where brands may ask you to leave a review, or you can leave reviews there to also help with attracting brand attention.  Make sure all your contact details to contact you are listed on all your store profiles.

TIP #2 Review Everything You Have

Start reviewing everything you own that you can, even stuff that is 6+ months old, past stuff still sells constantly. Link everything in your vids to the product pages (hopefully where you can affiliate too and earn.)  You can review tech and non-tech products, vacuums, kitchen appliances, just start looking at what you have and use and best of all create how to videos to help people figure out how to use it or solve a problem, these do well and leverage Quora and Yahoo Answers to find questions that people ask and do videos and responses to solve those problems, use Google Search to find out what people are asking/searching for and answer those questions with videos you publish as well.

Tip #3 Create an Introduction and Featured Video

Make an intro vid that showcases what you offer and set it as featured vid for your channel, this is mine for example https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0x6ZpF1vDTY

Tip #4 Collect Analytics and Show Value to Brands

Start building analytics for your views/sales so you can show brands and encourage them, this will be very low, but start doing monthly collection of how many clicks, visits, impressions and sales and start adding to it to show brands later.

Tip #5  Start Contacting Brands

Start reaching out to brands, use an intro letter (contact them via Amazon or direct brand press page) let them know you are a new tech blogger, show what you have so far and that you want to review their product and showcase. Start with smaller known brands and < $50 products, there will be a lot of bluetooth earbuds, headsets, budget mice at first until you can show ROI to brands.  If you would like a sample reach out to contactme@dragonblogger.com and I will send you a sample.

Tip #6  Create Videos About Products and Featuring Stuff

Create videos featuring products/software/brands even if it isn’t a review. Showcase a screencast of a website, or video yourself talking about a product/brand that you want and what features you want to see. Make 2-3 vids per product you get, unboxing, review and a how-to do something with that product for maximum effect.

Tip #7  Freelance as a Product Reviewer for DragonBlogger.com

You can temporarily work for my site as a freelance, where you do vid reviews/written reviews for my site and then you can do a separate one of the same product for your site. I have helped many tech bloggers get products and use my site for their review, then they get to review same product for their site after, it helps add content to my site and get them products to flush out their channels too. Reach out to me contactme@dragonblogger.com if you are interested.

Kingdom-Com 2017 in San Diego

Fans of tabletop and RPG games will know that Kingdom-Con has come to San Diego and this is the place to be to get your role playing on as well as pick up some miniatures, games and more.  This is a hands on event where you get to try and RP the latest games, or join in on the wargames.  Kingdom-Con 2017 (April 27th – April 30th) is located at the Crowne Plaza San Diego in Mission Valley.

Kingdom-Con 2017 Vendor Hall

Here are a list of all vendors that will be there and the vendor hall hours.

The Vendor Hall is open each day of the convention.

Vendor Hall Hours:

  • Thursday – 3pm – 8pm
  • Friday – 10am – 6pm
  • Saturday – 10am – 6pm
  • Sunday  – 10am – 6pm

Below are links to the various scheduled events

Card/Board Games

Miniatures

 

Roleplaying Games

 

Does Butter Beer from Flying Cauldron Taste Like Potter World Butter Beer?

So I was at Universal Studios for Potter World in California over the past Holiday break and my whole family enjoyed the Butter Beer of course which was fantastic and a nice treat.  My kids wanted to occasionally have some (as did I) and I decided to take a chance on the Flying Cauldron Butterscotch beer on Amazon which they say closely replicates the butter beer from Harry Potter world.  The price is a bit high but cheaper than actually butter beer per bottle in Universal Studios, and a 12 pack will cost $32.90 but you get (3) 4 packs when it is delivered.

How Does Butterscotch Beer Taste?

Well, my kids and I both believe they replicated the flavor so well that it is passable and fills the purpose of giving you that sweet unique butterscotch soda taste.  The difference is it doesn’t have the little cream they put on top in Harry Potter World and it is slightly different but for my own tasting purposes even 2 months later I can’t tell you that it tastes any different, maybe if I did a taste test side by side I could say there is a difference but my taste buds don’t remember one.  I enjoyed the butter beer from Flying Cauldron tremendously and shared a bottle with my kids about one per week until we ran out.

Something else my son came up with the idea for is how to create butter beer slurpee’s and we decided to test Oliver’s Slurpee Maker he got from Vat19 with the Butter Beer from Flying Cauldron and man does this make a great cold butter beer flavored treat that works out well.  Now some people in the Amazon reviews didn’t think the flavor tasted the same, or thought it was too sweet but I didn’t think it was any sweeter than the frosted butter beer at Harry Potter world, the hot butter beer there wasn’t as sweet but the frosted was very sweet and about on par.  This is a very sweet treat and probably not something that you would drink frequently due to the calories, but it is a nice treat to have and if you are throwing a Harry Potter themed party for kids or adults then this is a great little treat to break out with your Harry Potter Bertie Botts Beans and enjoy. By the way they are packaged and shipped in a styrofoam container and everything is kept safe and secure.

Funny Retirement Home Names Part 2

One of the most popular posts here on this site is actually a funny little post I wrote after reading a funny retirement home names and thinking that there are probably a dozen or so I can come up with as a poet and player of words. This silly little post wound up being visited tens of thousands of times and all the article did was summarize and present a bunch of funny made up retirement home names and this got me thinking why not work on a sequel post with some new and fresh funny retirement home names and then invite others to share the names of retirement homes that they can come up with.

The key is to be a bit clever without being cruel, mean or so awkward it isn’t plausible for a facility or recreational center to have that name in the title. So you wouldn’t put something that would offend someone as a potential title for the home, but something that can capture time period, era, age, with some sort of dignity and grace and pair it with something that sounds enticing. Some of the names poke a little too close to being offensive I admit, playing to tropes or stereotypes a bit.

Here is my 2nd list of Funny Retirement Home Names

  1. Furlough Estates
  2. Senescent Villa
  3. Greystone Hearth
  4. Ancient Establishment
  5. Venerable Villa
  6. Rusty Abode
  7. Rustic Heights
  8. El diablo oxidado
  9. La villa de los ancianos
  10. Near Zombie Village
  11. Sunset Lillies Retirement Community
  12. Last Living Lifestyle
  13. Sunset Maple Village
  14. Antiquated Hearth
  15. Overaged Headquarters
  16. Not Ready to Rest Home
  17. Gray Domestic Dwelling
  18. Supremely Senior Villa
  19. Auld Nursing Home
  20. Shelter of the Time Worn
  21. Lazy not Crazy Retirement Community
  22. Old Gold Apartments
  23. Retire and Admire Headquarters
  24. White Squire Center
  25. Gray Lobe Estates
  26. Last Sunset Heights
  27. Villa of the Worn
  28. Veteran Sanctuary
  29. Wilted Rose Hospice
  30. Never Darkened Dwelling
  31. Silver Angels Retirement Community
  32. Visiting Sunsets Villa
  33. Sheltered Gold Heights

Here was the original post of funny retirement home names.