Welcome To Relationship Reality
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This is the real world everyone and there is a 99.99% chance that the person you will spend the rest of your life with, or a significant portion of your life with will not be 100% perfect. The problem why most relationships fail is somewhere along the line people start focusing on more what they wish the other person could do for them, and less on what they can do for the other person.
Whether your partner makes the best friend, lover, parent, spouse or any other category or label you are looking for, chances are there will always be some things you wish were a little more simpatico together. One may be the best lover but not make a great friend or listener, while another may be wonderful in several categories or areas but maybe a little clingy or not affectionate enough.
Bottom line is you have to look at overall happiness and think to yourself, what do I really want out of this relationship? List the positives about your relationship and do not list the negatives instead focus on whether the positives are enough to sustain what you think are “lesser” qualities in the relationship. If you are spending your time wishing something could be better, then try focusing your attention to the following:
- What might my partner wish was better in this relationship?
- What can I do to improve on that area?
The more you focus on what you can do for your partner instead of what your partner can do for you, the less selfish you are. Though the opposite can happen, some people can give and never receive equal relationship commitment or focus and effort. You have to truly analyze and work with your partner to find a fair balance and make sure you both are meeting each others needs in as many areas as possible.
Never approach this subject in a harsh and negative light, it should always be discussed with positive and light tones with the intention to improve the relationship not criticize or damage it further.
We are all human beings, we all have flaws and nobody is 100% going to fill every wish, need or want in the other party. It is wrong to expect it and puts too much pressure and demand unfairly.
-Justin Germino
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Tags: couple advice, couple energy, couple give take, expecting too much in relationship, giving in relationship, good relationships, marriage advice, marriage energy, marriage tips, reality of relationships, relationship advice, relationship energy, relationship give take, Relationship reality, relationship tips, relationship wishes, wishing for relationship
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Klaus @ TechPatio (4)
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You are wise to know that at your tender years. It took me much longer to get over me. My life now is devoted to making my wife as happy as possible, partly because it makes me happy to do that but also in the hope of making up for being a terrible husband in some important areas of life earlier.
Ralph´s last blog ..Swamped by Spam
Very well expressed Justin. It’s about shedding expectations of others and once you’ve been able to do that the relationship begins to work on all levels. Great post.
Joanne Olivieri´s last blog ..Fleet Week San Francisco
I hear that, I have my own failures and shortcomings I am making up for. My wife often says that we should be the last people to give relationship advice, but I think hey if others can learn from my mistakes, go for it.
Thank you, I try to write from my own experience and growth.
Welcome to Relationship Reality…
Going into a relationship with realistic expectations is essential for a healthy relationship….
Very well written Justin.. you jot down your thoughts very clearly.. I like the idea of staying positive throughout a relationship.. it’s really helpful for both the partners.
Nehh´s last blog ..David Letterman reveals extortion plot and affairs with staff members