If you find yourself lacking or thinking something is missing, then focus on everything that your relationship does have and then devise a conclusion like this:  Am I just being picky, or is there something really wrong?  Is there something I can do to alleviate how I feel about the situation?  Remember it is easier to blame and point at others, but many issues can often develop and be caused by ones own self.

My point is if you take your relationship as a whole and have few complaints about a few issues, then this is the nature of a good and healthy relationship.  Don’t over analyze your relationship to death, and don’t expect that you will be happy with 100% of the relationship, 100% of the time.  People are people and relationships are give and take and you get out of them what you put into them for the most part, so instead of expecting anything, put more effort into the relationship and talk with your partner about how you are feeling.

Communication is always key.

Just one of my insights for today.

-Justin Germino

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Financial issues are among the top reasons for getting divorced and ironically are one of the top reasons why people are devastated following divorce financially.  Another major one is fidelity, cheating, dishonesty or lying.

Your significant other should be a transparent window to you vice versa, nobody should get married unless they not only know about each other, but know how each other feels and thinks about certain things.  One of the key ways to accomplish this is through open communication, take the time to ask your partner the tough questions or ones you wouldn’t have thought to ask.  Ask them how they feel about religion, marriage, kids, sex, adult movies, strip clubs, Internet dating, social networks…etc.

You see where I am going with this it never hurts to ask your partner how they feel about anything and what is their take and opinion on anything and everything you can think of, learn early on what your partner’s point of view is on these things and these can become foundations to strengthen the relationship, or if your girlfriend/partner has differing opinion or point of view on certain topics you can share your own and find a compromise in the middle if there can be one found.

Marriage is about giving not taking, if both sides give then both sides receive, if one side gives and the other side takes then the marriage is out of balance and is destined to have problems and issues.  Communication is key, never assume your partner thinks a certain way unless you have asked.  Even worse, if you know your partner is against certain things you must be honest and open about how you feel.  Lying is never okay in a relationship even when many people lie to spare another person’s feelings, this in the end can only cause worse issues and weaken the marriage.

Marriages are complicated, hard and require a lot of effort, consideration and commitment.  But the reward can be a thousand times better than the work put into it, as long as both sides are equals and are true to each other and have open and honest communication.  It is never too late to open up to your partner and never too late to start fresh and build a healthier and stronger relationship.

-Justin Germino

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