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Relationship Advice – Communication And Honesty Are Keys

couple-thumb10014I want to say that there are way too many divorces that occur in the country now  a days, people have given up on “working at a marriage” and are so eager to take flight the moment they deal with an issue that is complicated, hard or they feel like giving up.  I do believe that divorce is an option under certain circumstances including anything like “Abuse, Domestic Violence” or children are at risk, but barring physical or mental abuse or health there should be things taken into consideration.

Financial issues are among the top reasons for getting divorced and ironically are one of the top reasons why people are devastated following divorce financially.  Another major one is fidelity, cheating, dishonesty or lying.

Your significant other should be a transparent window to you vice versa, nobody should get married unless they not only know about each other, but know how each other feels and thinks about certain things.  One of the key ways to accomplish this is through open communication, take the time to ask your partner the tough questions or ones you wouldn’t have thought to ask.  Ask them how they feel about religion, marriage, kids, sex, adult movies, strip clubs, Internet dating, social networks…etc.

You see where I am going with this it never hurts to ask your partner how they feel about anything and what is their take and opinion on anything and everything you can think of, learn early on what your partner’s point of view is on these things and these can become foundations to strengthen the relationship, or if your girlfriend/partner has differing opinion or point of view on certain topics you can share your own and find a compromise in the middle if there can be one found.

Marriage is about giving not taking, if both sides give then both sides receive, if one side gives and the other side takes then the marriage is out of balance and is destined to have problems and issues.  Communication is key, never assume your partner thinks a certain way unless you have asked.  Even worse, if you know your partner is against certain things you must be honest and open about how you feel.  Lying is never okay in a relationship even when many people lie to spare another person’s feelings, this in the end can only cause worse issues and weaken the marriage.

Marriages are complicated, hard and require a lot of effort, consideration and commitment.  But the reward can be a thousand times better than the work put into it, as long as both sides are equals and are true to each other and have open and honest communication.  It is never too late to open up to your partner and never too late to start fresh and build a healthier and stronger relationship.

-Justin Germino

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POSTED BY dragonblogger on Jan 12 under Personal Insights

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6 Comments so far
  1. Gebadia Smith January 12, 2009 11:56 pm

    Come on now..marriage is too often about money. You always see those short pudgy, upper middle class men with the hot wives…but lets say it is about love…then your right communication is key..and that means being able to talk about the hard stuff…I would also argue that it is harder to find the ever after now because people tend to change more than ever before…

    Gebadia Smiths last blog post..I want a dam medal

  2. Bingkee January 13, 2009 9:40 am

    So true ….and also it’s best to know when to shut up. Communication is very important in marriage but I learned that not all problems can be solved by expressing everything. There are some things that when I know my husband is right, I shut up. Or when I do wrong, I ask sorry. He also does the same way. We communicate so well but he also shut up when he knows I am right and asks sorry if he is wrong. Thanks for sharing this.

  3. Karen & Gerard Zemek January 13, 2009 10:39 am

    Very good post about how important communication is. I like that you pointed out lying is never right too. Spouses need to be totally honest with one another, and the more transparent, generally the stronger the trust between them becomes. “The Excellent Wife” by Martha Peace addresses this issue. I’m reading it now so it is fresh on my mind.

    Karen & Gerard Zemeks last blog post..My Favorite Posts From 2008

  4. Kara January 13, 2009 7:32 pm

    I enjoyed your post, although I would say that people do change. No matter how much you know someone before you get married or after, life changes you through your experiences. Saying your sorry, laughing, and learning new things together are blessings and “should” be thought of as a gift to one another and to ourselves.

    We’ve been through an affair. Now our marriage is better than either of us could have ever expected it could be!

    Thanks for the great post!

    Karas last blog post..A Prayer

  5. Kim January 13, 2009 9:39 pm

    Justin, no truer words were ever written. My parents were married for 56 years, until my father died at the age of 75, my mom passed away 5 months after him. My husband’s parents have been in a strong marriage for 48 years now. We have both seen our parents’ marriages go through rough times, and we’ve seen them weather the storm and come out stronger on the other side. They set wonderful examples for us. We’ve had our share of marital problems, to the point of having fantasies of leaving or even (metaphorically) killing the other. But we cool down, work it out, discuss and be honest and realize the “assumptions” we made were wrong. Our relationship is always stronger afterwords, and our children learn from this process as well, just as we learned from our parents. By building a strong marriage, we’re building strong children with strong self esteem and good negotiation, compromise and listening skills, not to mention a strong sense of humor. That in my opinion can get you through most anything. Yes, marriage, just as life in general, is work, and it’s well worth the effort. I know too many serial marriage people and I just don’t get why you’d want to run yourself through 3, 4 or 5 marriages. This isn’t a highschool relationship. This is marriage. It’s a priceless union and to be taken seriously.

    Kims last blog post..Busy Weekend

  6. Cashmere January 14, 2009 3:42 pm

    Besides the major points that you stated, I would like to include something… Most people tend to forget that when they are in a relationship with their partner, it’s about 2 people and not just one.. It’s no longer about themseleves anymore..

    Cashmeres last blog post..Happy New Year To All…

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