My Opinions on Human Kindness and Decency
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I was reading on another blogger’s site this morning I do apologize for not linking back, but I forgot the blog who posted this. If you do read this and know I am referring to you, please contact me and I will link back to you.
She was blogging about being very pregnant and having to take her van into the shop, where she had to carry car seats, diaper bags and tons of stuff out of her van. Nobody in the shop offered to help her, some twenty guys just stood there and watched.
This reminds me of what has degraded in human society over the years, studies have shown that babies and toddlers have altruism built in as instinct. If you drop something in front of a 2 year old, he will automatically come over and pick it up and hand it back to you. They are hard wired to help and primates like Chimpanzee’s have this same altruistic ability.
It is only through culture, society and being taught that this instinct seems to be pounded into non-existence. Humans are supposed to be hardwired to help people, only culture undoes that fundamental instinct. I take my two boys ages 5 and 2 for walks all the time in my community and I lead by example when it comes to helping people. My five year old now whenever we go to restaurants asks if he can open an hold the door for us, in fact he rushes ahead just to open and hold doors for us and people. This is because he always see’s me hold doors open for people.
When I was walking past a pregnant woman in my street unloading a computer monitor from her trunk, I offered my assistance. She turned it down, but I still offered because it was the right thing to do. The same goes for in the morning when I saw a guy with his truck stuck in the common area, I offered to come over and help push his truck out. He informed me he already called towing and thanked me for offering, my sons see me do this and I hope they grow up to be those kind of people.
Remember how previously I said before bed I think back on 2 or 3 good events that happened in my life that day. I always think back fondly on whenever I offered my assistance to help others, whether it was accepted or not, I stood up and didn’t just ignore and walk on by. The next time you see somebody with a flat tire on the side of the road, and nobody is helping them. Or you see someone who looks like they could use a hand, don’t turn the other cheek and ignore it. Give in to your inner altruism, help people for the sake of helping people. What is 5 minutes out of your day just to give a hand?
-Justin Germino
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Tags: adults teach chivalry, altruism, babies and altruism, be helpful, being helpful, chivalry, chivalry is dead, give a hand, helping others, human decency, human instinct, human kindness, kids learn by example, lead by example, primates and altruism
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I agree completely with your post. My dad taught me to always hold the door open for others and extend a helping hand because it’s the right thing to do, always.
As a pretty (stubborn) independent female, I generally decline offers of physical assistance regardless of who offers or the circumstances but I always appreciate the courtesy of those who offer it and thank them. A few years ago when I was 8.5 months pregnant with my first, I was boarding a flight returning home from a business trip (and dressed accordingly) and trying to lift my luggage into the overhead. Behind me was a gentleman, mid-30s, fit, well-dressed, who when seeing my struggles to lift a 25-lb bag over my head while pregnant, said, “how much longer are you going to take? You’re holding up the line.”
This is in addition to the many times throughout my life when people fail to show the basic courtesy (or be observant enough of others) to hold open doors (particularly when pushing a double stroller), elevators, smile in acknowledgement, or in general acknowledge others as a fellow human being. It’s so sad to see because it takes so little to demonstrate this effort.
Your examples are exactly why I wrote this article.
This is similar to the psych studies they’ve done regarding helping people on the street. I think it goes something like – most people won’t stop to help someone that is passed out or not moving on the street. They just figure someone else will come along to help.
I agree, children learn by what they see their parents, friends, and other community members do. They do not always say how they feel, when someone does something out of order, so as a parent observing and stating the fact that something was either very good, or inappropriate, helps a lot. They always say it takes a community to raise a child. I used to think that was hog wash until I actually had a child.